| | January Hemme Powered column JANUARY HEMME POWERED: WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?
By Christy Hemme
What do you believe in?
Im am generally very optimistic and believe that everything happens for a reason - good and bad. I didn't always feel that way. Four years ago I was a completely different person. I was still a very energetic strong girl, but a part of me was cold and too strong to cry. I look back and think, maybe I was just numb in allowing myself to feel the things I didn't like or hurt. I was always ambitious but without direction. I never questioned what I believed in or what my purpose was. Purpose - I would have probably laughed at the word and thought I turned into one of those "spiritual weirdos".
When my mom passed away four years ago, my heart filled up with love I could only feel as a result of her death. She died with a purpose, she changed me. I will never forget one of the last things she said to me: "Learn how to love and be loved". Powerful words that at the time I shrugged off, not understanding them. They are now some of my most cherished words. I vowed then and there that I wouldn't let her die in vein. I would let the pain change me for the better, soften a heart that I could now see. I wanted a direction and a purpose. I knocked down my cold numb wall and hugged the life around me, people I care about and even people I didn't know. Knowing that something so devastating could happen and I could shine brighter because of it made me want to use that forward thought in everything I did. Its a power, a power that you have control of. I believe that anyone can do anything they want if they believe. That was the beginning of believing in myself.
Fast forward to today. I was inspired to reflect this past year. This year has actually been the most significant and fullest year of my life. It's the year that I could actually visualize my own journey of finding where I belong, what makes me happy, and what I want to do.
When I first arrived to WWE, I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me because I found something I wanted to be apart of - wrestling. Leaving WWE, I felt like another weight was lifted off me, because even though it hurt (I gave it my heart) I could see that I didn't belong in a place that held my arms behind my back. Valuable lesson - give your heart to something that deserves it and keep your eyes open at all times. Things change, people change, you will change and of course life changes. If that didn't happen my eyes wouldn't have opened to the possibilities I couldn't see. My eyes opened inside my dreams.
My dreams - they are the biggest window to my deepest thoughts. I told myself to clear my head and only do what I truly had it in my heart to do. I dreamed about wrestling, lol. I also starting waking up with lyrics and melodies in my head. Soon the writing spilled into a daydreaming of singing and the wrestling followed to TNA.
Becoming part of the TNA family and creating music has become what makes my feel like I'm always awake in my dreams. I'm present in my thoughts and will always be active in that place.
There are things I know to be true in my future and this present day. But it's not because I can see them but because I believe - I believe in myself.
I guess it's like they say: "You cant be happy in a relationship unless you are happy with yourself". The same could be said "If you don't believe in yourself, how could you believe in anything else"?
So I ask you again... What do you believe in?
Thanks and have a happy 2007!
Christy Hemme
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New album pick - My Chemical Romance's "The Black Parade". This epic concept blows their last album away! It's brilliant, has a great story and took this band to a whole new level. Their big sound and deep lyrics have layers that move like a rollercoster. The more you peal away, the more you can see its raw idea and hear the simple beauty it holds.
Old album pick- Jimi Hendrix "Voodoo Child: The Jimi Hendrix Collection". I'm not generally a huge fan of collection albums because all that in-between, not so popular stuff, is usually my favorite. But this collection is awesome! It mixes live and recorded versions. My favs are the live version of "Hey Joe" and of course "Wild Thing" cuz Im a WILD THANG!!
Annoying song award- "Fergalicious" - sorry Fergie fans, this song just grates on my nerves! 1:23 AM - 7 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment blog.myspace.com/hemmepowered |
