ECW HOUSE SHOW REPORT 7/9
- 07/11/2006 (4:27:29 pm)
- Keith Lipinski
Green Bay, WI.
ECW House Show Report – Sunday, July 9, 2006 – Brown County Green Bay Wisconsin
By Keith Lipinski
Got to the show about a half hour early as the wife and I were in Green Bay Wisconsin
The pre show music consisted of such fine ECW pre-show music classics as Everclear's “Soccer Mom” and the 2002 remix of Elvis Presley’s “A little less conversation.” My wife asked “aren’t they supposed to play harder music?” Even a non-fan knows! The Brown Count Arena was decent place for a wrestling show, but I would estimate it was less then half full and around 800 people.
Show began on time at 7pm with a scary pre-recording announcing this was a “World Wrestling Entertainment event," and how it might be filmed for future use and by being there "your voice, face and likeness may be used." The voice of god continued to tell us to "please refrain from throwing anything what so ever into the ring, if you are caught you will be ejected and subject to arrest, please be considerate to our superstars and your fellow fans.” That’s great about the superstars but what about the EXTREMISTS~!
Instead of the phat ECW theme to start the show, we got to listen to the THEME OF OVW~! Drowning Pool's "Bodies." This made me sad. Ring announcer Justin Roberts came into the ring and “welcomed us to the extreme.” He then talked about Paul E. suspending RVD for 30 days, no talk about the WWE investigation into RVD and Sabu's arrest. The crowd did not s*** on this as you would expect. They were chant happy though. Roberts announced the main event tonight would feature Big Show defending his newly won ECW Championship against Sabu in an "Extreme Rules" match. I noticed a big basket of plunder towards the entrance, with a crutch and other assorted New Jack like objects. The big basket of plunder was NOT used tonight.
1. Al Snow defeated Stevie Richards with a head shot in about 9 minutes.
Both guys came out to their WWE music and wearing thier WWE gear. Crowd let the former Tough Enough trainer they wanted head right away. Stevie got the "bWo" and "big stevie cool" chants. There was also a very faint "right to censor" chant. Oh wait, that was me. The two locked up, as the crowd started with the "we want head" chants. Snow told them "I'll get to it." Story of the match was Richards' fear of head (the mannequin head and not the sexually deviant act), as Snow would repeatedly go to get it for its sagely advice, and to use it as a weapon. Both men traded headlocks, Stevie got out of one of the headlocks and crawled into the corner where head was watching the match. Stevie freaked out. Crowd started chanting "stevie wants head", which quickly became "Stevie gives head." While watching this, it hit me; Stevie has been wrestling almost 12 years now, and is in the best shape of his career as he's never been in this good of shape in his entire time of ECW. Of course he's had some nice downtime lately. But still, I was watching Stevie Richards wrestle in 2006, my how time flies. The crowd got restless with the headlocks and wanted tables. Snow kept on trying to go and use head unsuccessfully. As Snow was down, Richards fear of head suddenly disappeared and he put it in the center of the ring and signaled to punt it into the crowd or across the street to Lambeau Field. This potential punting assault revived Snow, as he hit Richards with a might Spear and made his comeback. Snow then hit several headbutts on Richards shoulders, and a beautiful suplex with a bridge for two. Stevie crotched himself into the corner, which dazzled the referee and allowed Snow to grab the head and hit Richards with it for the pin. The referee could plainly see head in the ring while counting the pin, still it didn't matter. After the match Snow did his Prodigy dance with head, to the tune of his current "WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WANT? HEAD!" music. I guess it's not 1998 anymore. Ok, match, some nice back and forth.
Justin Roberts went back into the ring to announce the participants in the next match. The crowd turned on him because, well I don't really know why. Maybe because he's too good looking to be ring announcing for ECW? Because he's not "Horshack" Steven DeAngelis? Anyway, it began the many “you suck d***”! and gay remarks to Mr. Roberts.
2. FBI (Little Guido & Tony Mamaluke) defeated The Basham Brothers in 9 minutes after Little Guido pinned the new look Danny Basham after a combo powerbomb by Tony Mamaluke while Nunzio, I mean Guido. hit a side slam off the top rope.
The Bashams are back and have an exciting new look. Danny (aka the Damaja) grew out his hair and was wearing camouflage baggy shorts. Doug was wearing Basham brother's long tights, a shirt asking “who wants some?" and eye stuff under his eye like major leaguers wear. They were welcomed back to Green Bay
3. Kelly Kelly defeated Francine in an Extreme Vixen Body Contest
Justin explained the rules of the body contest while ducking gay chants. Francine came in with a red robe looking well preserved since ECW shut down in 2001. Kelly Kelly (What? Were the WWE writers watching a Cheers rerun when they got her name?) lifted up her robe while coming in the ring to show off her ass. Live, she looked quite nice. Francine wore a nice while thronged bikini and walked around the ring to some crappy electronic music. My wife was shocked by Francine's lack of cellulite, I was shocked by the overabundance of bad music on this show. Kelly then teased showing her almost not there bikini, really it was tiny suit. Imagine this boys, it was like one square packet of butter was covering her nipple. You could possibly swallow Kelly Squared bikini and not use water to wash it down. Yes, that term was used better in Red Dwarf but you get he idea. To get a females perspective, my wife thought Francine had the better bathing suit. Sadly, the 95% male crowd disagreed and Kelly Kelly won the contest. After the contest, Francine pushed her down, and got her on the ground, as Kelly face was being driven in the mat in an EXTREMELY~! weak catfight. Kelly didn't fight back, and much like when she strips every week on Sci-Fi, did nothing. Mike Knoxx came out, as Kelly popped out of her top and was grabbing her breasts and walking around the ring. She was about to remove her hands when Knox covered her top with his small towel. As you can imagine, this lack of nipple exposure was not appreciated by the fans.
4. Mike Knoxx defeated Balls Mahoney in 12 minutes with his unnamed finisher (which is listed on ECW.Com as a 'modified STO')
Balls came down to the ring, chair less, and wearing a SHADOWS FALL~! T-shirt. The wife was quick to ask "why is Balls Mahoney wearing that outfit?” The only reply I could think of was "because he's Balls Mahoney and that’s perfectly acceptable in his world!" The crowd was still on Knoxx's case, telling him he loved the cock, and “you can’t wrestle.” The "we don't know you!" chants of the last few weeks were gone. After hearing the "you can't wrestle" chants, Balls proceeded to *gulp* wrestle. He attempted to wrestle, successfully, yet the fans chanted for "chairs!" Tough crowd. Balls then yelled at Knoxx "What the fuck is your problem, I can wrestle!" Knoxx reached out for a handshake, but kicked Balls low. In an impressive move, Balls had Knoxx sitting in the corner, and landed a super stiff kick on Knoxx’s chin in the corner, he yelled “sweet chin music”, the kick was Kawada like. It was awesome. The match went to the outside; the referee started counting both guys off. The fan next to me was going insane "theres no countouts in ecw!” Balls grabbed someone's beer and used it as a weapon on Mr. Knoxx. Knoxx got the advantage by whipping Balls into the guard rail. The match went back into the ring, as Knoxx applied…a fucking chinlock. The crowd was very unhappy about this. "We want hardcore!" There were a lot of chinlocks tonight, more chinlocks then highspots, which was very un-ECW. Knoxx then tried for a superplex, yes, the third superplex attempt tonight, but Balls came back and hit an elbow from the middle rope for a nearfall. Balls hit a nice spinebuster for two, and looked like he was going to grab a chair as the crowd was demanding it. Balls instead went for his Nutcracker Suite finisher, but Knoxx escaped it, hit a very nice high Mark Jindrak like dropkick and his myserious finisher for the pin. This is what happens when you don't give the fans what they really want. The crowd then chanted "kill the ref" which it appeared Balls was finally going to listen to the crowd, but the referee got out of there. Crowd chanted "Thank you Balls." Another OK match…
Justin Credible came out to his generic music, and not the X-Factor theme. He got to cut a generic promo tonight while wearing rollerblade elbowpads. Justin must have won a bet or something to get this valuable mic time. "Its good to be back here in Green Bay, for E-C-W, before you get all happy, I got a bit of bad news, tonight, I have a dueling cane match with the hardcore icon, the Sandman. And I’m going to make this short, and I’m going to make this sweet I’m going to show you people what hardcore is about, I’m going to show you people why I’m the real hardcore icon (boos), or I’m not the real hardcore icon. You know what? Just the what? Just the what? (The crowd started chanting "Target") Tonight, I’m going to show green bay why I’m not just the coolest, tonight I’m going to show green bay why I’m not just the best, tonight, I’m going to show green bay why I am Justin…pause (crowd yelled "Credible")."
5. Sandman defeated Justin Credible in a Dueling Singapore Cane Match in about nine minutes.
Both men came down with their canes. Sandman came out of the crowd. They loved it as he went around with his beer; my wife commented “I’m glad he’s not over here.” My wife also asked “who’s the heel in this one” which made me smile. Sandman was bleeding pretty good as the match started as a duel! Sandman got the first point by hitting Credible’s leg, Credible came back with some nice swordplay and got a point by hitting sandman's leg. I was really missing the MUSKETEER~! to make this an extreme 3 way duel. Sandman looked very happy during this, I was happy hoping the entire match would be like this and judged on a point system, like fencing. Sandman then caned Credible hard on his back, which got the 7th ECW chant of the night. Justin then decided to wrestle, and did a bow and arrow submission using the Singapore
Intermission time. I explained to my wife how quick the show was going as opposed to marathon shows I've been to, she no sold this and was happy to know it would be over sortly.
6. CM Punk defeated Roadkill with the Anaconda Vice submission in eleven minutes.
Nice little match. Punk’s music tonight was a hardcore number by Killswitch Engage, Roadkill was big and over with the chicken(!) chants. Punk was over with the crowd, several of which chanted ROH. Punk was smiling and it seemed like he was very happy to be there. Punk started the macth by going went for a belly to back suplex, but he was unsuccessful with the massive Roadkill. The "you f*** sheep" chant started for Roadkill, he nodded like a guilty yet proud Amish angry chicken plucker. Later on in the match, Punk mocked Roadkill's Chicken's taunt and said “Pepsi” instead of "Chickens!" That was funny. Someone chanted boring, so there were even more headlocks. Good back and forth by both guys, Punk hit a sunset flip on Roadkill, as Roadkill tried to splash down onto Punk, he moved. Punk hit a anaconda vice on the ring ropes for a loud pop. Punk attempted a springboard, but Roadkill caught him and hit a powerslam for a nearfall. Roadkill's suspenders slowly came off, Roadkill tried to whip Punk Hollywood Hogan belt style, but the referee stopped it and grabbed the suspenders. Thankfully Roadkill did not lose his pants here, but Punk attempted to use the referee distraction to roll Roadkill up. Crowd chanted “we want hardcore!” They traded clotheslines, Punk missed a tornado DDT and ended up outside. Roadkill teased diving outside, but did not, which got the ire of the crowd. Punk tried a springboard dropkick on the Amish warrior, but Roadkill was too close. Punk hit a beautiful springboard dropkick which forced Roadkill outside the ring. Punk hit a sweet looking tope, and brought Roadkill back into the ring for a two count. Roadkill made the comeback, hit a side slam for two. He went to the middle, then top rope for the big splash, but missed. Punk made a hot comeback with some beautiful slaps, chops, and a nice kick and clamped on the anaconda vice for the submission. It was great seeing Punk back in the ring live again, and I only hope we can see more of these two in the new ECW.
Tommy Dreamer came out to his Man in the Box knockoff music, wearing his own t-shirt (available at WWEShop.com). He got on the microphone and proclaimed “were back” Poltergeist style. I will now transcribe dreamers promo, in non-Dreamer typing style of ALL CAPS. “I waited 6 and a half years to come back to Green Bay, I waited six and a half years to get drunk with the sandman down the block after this show, and I came back to see about 2,000 of you hardcore green bay MFers. (ECW chant) I came back, balls Mahoney came back, Sabu came back, and the reason each and every one of us came back was because each and every one of you. (Applause) because you people told the people in WWE you wanted to see something different. You were the people who went out last year, and purched one night stand, and still til this day it was the best damn PPV the WWE ever saw! (pause) you were the people who wrote in, send emails, bought the dvds and heard the stories about the hardcore legands of extreme. And from the bottom of my heart, all I can say to each and every one of you is thank you. Because if it wasn’t for you, and all the people across the world, because there is a lot of people in the WWE office that think ecw was just a small time regional promotion that only made it in new york and Philadelphia (boooo! Fuck you vince chant). Thank you everyone, I’m sure I’ll get fined Tuesday. Thank you! But, I want (he’s hardcore chant) but that is why, everyone from ECW, and especially the fans, we are the rudest, we are the crudest, we are the most extreme, we are the most insane fans out there, and I want you all to cheer, chant, and say whatever the f*** you want! (ECW chant, then a Tommy chant) it looks like I just doubled my fine but who the hell cares.”
7. Test defeated Tommy Dreamer with his TEST DRIVE
Tommy got a good laugh from the crowd for saying there were 2,000 MFers here tonight. I didn’t know Green Bay
Ring announcer Justin Roberts announced to the crowd they would possibly be coming back to “Green Bay
8. Big Show defeated Sabu in an Extreme Rules ECW Title Match in about 9 minutes with a choke slam thru a table in the ring
Sabu came out with the lights off and only a CHAIR in his hand. No basket of plunder. Big Show was announced at 507 lbs and whispered to the announcer, who then proclaimed the Big Show was "the only man to hold the ECW, WWE, WCW world titles." Big show smiled at this glorious bit of wrestling trivia. Sabu started with some chair shots, which caused Big Show to get outside the ring and kick the ultra shiny ring stairs in frustration. The crowd's interaction with Big Show was awesome here, as he told the crowd to "shut the f*** up" several times. Sabu had a lot of offense her with chair shots, and punches. Sabu went for Air Sabu into the corner, but Big Show caught him like a baby and slammed him down. The crowd chanted "big show swallows" and "you can't wrestle." Big Show shouted back "I don't have to!" That was good. Crowd chanted "RVD" as Big Show hit a last call fall away slam on Sabu. Show then started yelling with a fan in the front row who called him fat. Show noted the guy was not in great shape, had a bad MUSTACHE~! and probably “ain't never had any p**** in his life” While he was jaw jacking, Sabu hit a chair shot, and then a nice looking DDT. Sabu set up a table vertical in the corner, and set up a chair, jumped on the chair and just sorta pushed big show into the table bulldog style. Show went for the cobra slam, but Sabu used the turnbuckle and hit a sliced bread #2 like move for a two count. Sabu then hit a successful triple jump moonsault for another near fall and an Arabian face buster legdrop with the chair for a two. Sabu was getting frustrated and got another table in the middle of the ring. Show stopped Sabu's momentum and hit the choke slam for the pin. Sabu left to "Thank You Sabu" chants.
Overall thoughts: At two hours and eight minutes, the show ran pretty quickly and not a bad little wrestling show. It felt like a small scale WWE show then an authentic ECW show, but what more can you expect in 2006? It was nice to see such big superstars, I mean extremists in a smaller arena. Even though the new ECW isn’t for everyone, it's still another way for wrestlers to get work and made for an entertaining evening of wrestling. If you go into this show expecting to be blown away or get the old ECW feeling back, you may be disappointed. If you go into it knowing its WWE's version of ECW, you might have a fun night out of it. Was anything five stars, or match of the year classics? Nope. But the lineup of this show (Big Show, Sabu, CM Punk, Test, ok, maybe not the last one) would rival many independent shows. This isn't the old ECW, and as long as you remember that, you can live with ECW in 2006.
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