• 07/01/2013 (2:55:00 pm)
  • Bob Mulrenin

Funkdafied Wrestling Federation closed out its Spring 2013 Tour and ushered in the summer with a huge outdoor show at the John F. Patrick Sports Complex in 
Lakewood, NJ. The weather was perfect (the sky was clear with no sign of rain), 
and a huge and energetic crowd filled nearly all the seats and bleachers, and a 
great time was had by all.

Before the show, the fans got autographs and pictures with former WWE Hall of 
Famer & Intercontinental Champion "El Matador" Tito Santana and former ECW 
hardcore icon Balls Mahoney.

The opening contest was a ten-man Over-The-Top-Rope Battle Royal featuring "The 
White Urkel" B. Fehrm, "Big 80's" Donnie Victory, "Retro Ricker" Rikki Roxx, 
"The Warrior" Jack Spade, Corrupted Youth, an unknown masked luchador wrestler, 
"Ice-Fire" Steve Zapf, Mike Matixx, Mark Modest, and the debut'ing Andrew Celli. 

As a precursor to their upcoming match, Fehrm and Corrupted Youth eliminated 
each other and brawled all over the field until the officials broke it up. In 
the end, Rikki Roxx superkicked Jack Spade off the ring apron to eliminated him 
and win the Battle Royal.

In the next match, Corrupted Youth defeated "The White Urkel" B. Fehrm after 
hitting him with a chain when the referee wasn't looking.

In a non-title tag-team match, Lightning Bolt Johnson, with his manager "Big 
80's" Donnie Victory, and FWF Heavyweight Champion The Atomic Dog, defeated FWF 
Tag-Team Champions The 2 Rude Dudes ("Corrupted" Corey Havoc & "Rampage" Rogers) 

with manager Captain Johnny Kool. After Dog and Havoc clotheslined each other 
out of the ring, Johnson blocked an Avalanche attempt from Rogers and hit a 
Canadian Destroyer powerbomb on Rogers and got the pin.

"Jersey Shore Lunatic" Slayer won by disqualification over J.T. Highlander when 
Highlander smacked Slayer with his Canadian flag when the referee's back was 
turned. When the referee turned around, he saw Slayer down and Highlander 
holding a broken flagpole, and disqualified Highlander.

Former WWE Hall of Fame legend Tito Santana, with manager "Big 80's" Donnie 
Victory, defeated Big Jeff Noyze, with manager Captain Johnny Kool. After 
asserting his strength early on, Tito used his veteran skills and quicker moves 
to stagger Noyze. Tito was preparing to finish Noyze off with a Flying Burrito 
forearm when Johnny Kool tripped him up. Kool jumped up on the ring apron and 
held Tito for Noyze to finish off, but Tito ducked Noyze's running clothesline 
and leveled his own manager instead. Tito rolled up the stunned Noyze and held 
him down for the three-count.

During intermission, the fans posed for pictures with the wrestlers while the 
FWF ring crew assembled the steel cage for the two main event matches. FWF also 
celebrated birthdays, and the 20th wedding anniversary of long-time FWF 
photographer Mark "Foto-Mark" Engel and his wife Melanie.

In the first of the two steel cage main event matches, FWF Cruiserweight 
Champion "Fast" Eddie Franken retained his title against challengers "Mr. 
Entertainment" J.D. Smoothie & Vinny Cenzo. After the three high-fliers wow'ed 
the audience, Smoothie had Eddie down and went all the way to the top of the 
cage to try and finish Eddie off with a moonsault, but missed. Eddie and Vinny 
battled on until Eddie blocked a superplex attempt from Vinny and delivered a 
flying neckbreaker off the top rope and pinned him to retain his title.

In the second of the two steel cage matches, "The Bounty Hunter" Johnny Ringo 
defeated former ECW hardcore icon John "Balls" Mahoney. Before the match, Balls 
took the microphone and said that Johnny had been his protege, and to him this 
was a "test" of student versus teacher. Balls also asserted this would be an 
"old-school" cage match where the only way to win was to escape the cage, and 
told the referee that his only job was to wait outside and open and close the 
cage door. The match was, as expected, a bloody brawl where both men bled 
heavily after being smashed into the cage wall and cage door. Balls and Johnny 
exchanged chair shots as well, but neither man could escape the cage. Balls then 

took a bag he bad brought into the cage with him and turned it upside-down, 
emptying a huge pile of thumb tacks onto the mat. Balls then hauled Ringo up to 
the top rope and tried to superplex Ringo onto the pile, but Ringo shoved him 
off and Balls landed himself right onto the pile. As Balls writhed in pain, 
Ringo went for a flying splash onto Balls, but Balls somehow rolled out of the 
way and Ringo landed onto the pile of thumb tacks as well. Ringo DDT'd Balls 
onto the tacks, and went up to the top of the cage to try and finish him off 
again, but he missed another flying splash. As Ringo tried to crawl out the cage 
door, Balls pulled him back in, screaming "How are you still alive?!" Balls then 
picked up a steel chair to finish Ringo off, and clocked him with it, but the 
impact knocked Ringo through the cage door and out to the field grass below, 
giving him the victory.

After the match, a furious Balls seized Johnny and propped his head up against a 
chair and threatened to smash his head with another chair, telling him that he 
was no longer his student and would do what he wanted to him, but instead he 
picked up Ringo and hugged him and gave him props for his victory as the show 

Comments are closed.