Dear Fans,

I wanted to write this letter to you because I feel that you deserve an explanation. I have been away for quite some time now and I have never given any reason as to why. There have been many stories and speculations as to where and why I was gone but they were never really confirmed.

In 2003 my relationship with my then boyfriend of 7 years was starting to dissolve. The time away from each other was very damaging and we began to grow apart. This was very hard for me being that he was the most important person in my life for the past 8 ½ to 9 years. You see, he was my best friend before we started dating. I never really had a close connection with my own family (which we will get into at another time) and he became that to me. After being on the road for as long as I was on a regular basis we decided that it was best for the both of us to go our separate ways so that we can always be friends and not wind up hating each other. It worked out exactly like that and I thank God it did.

I have to admit I was really scared. I didn't know if I would be able to meet someone else that would accept my career choices, or someone that would want to be with me because of me and not who I was. I was getting older. I was scared… did I make the wrong career choice? Was my youth passing by me? Was I giving up the one birth right every woman has? That is, the joy of being a MOM. This thought scared me to death. I would walk through the airport and notice families, and wonder will I ever have one? I would walk through the mall and see moms and there children and wonder….will I ever be able to have that with the choices I have made in my life?

Then one day my girlfriend from high school was over my house and asked me to go out with her to a local bar/restaurant to have a drink. It was late and I really didn't want to go, but I did. This is where I met Matt. It was by accident through a mutual friend. I was introduced, and he had no idea who I was.

Well, to make a long story short we had a lot in common and we got along great. We soon started to talk about getting married and of course as usual the issue of children came up. I was nervous that because of my age and all of the abuse I have put my body through I wasn't going to be able to get pregnant easily. So we decided that we would start a family before we got married. I figured 1 year to plan a wedding, then who knew how long to get pregnant, then 9 months to have the baby. MY CLOCK WAS TICKING!!!!!!!!!!! So we started to try to have our family. If it happened early, we would have a small wedding. If it didn't happen right away, we would have a big wedding. Well, as you all know, it happened quickly.

In 2005, I was released from WWE and this made me very sad. I had to go away for a while to get my head together. I had to separate myself from wrestling to get my thoughts and my future family in order. With this came a lot of weight gain. You see, I have a problem. When I am upset, nervous or depressed, I eat. Also, my doctor said that because of all the years of strict dieting, my body didn't know how to handle the food I was eating, so it stored all of it.

In June of 2005, Matt and I got married. I had a great wedding in Vegas. Honestly, I wouldn't have done it any differently. It wasn't one of those drive through ceremonies that you read about; it was a nice ceremony with a white dress and family. My sister-in-law was my Maid of Honor and my brother-in-law was Matt's best man. It was a perfect day.

In December of 2005, I had my son Matthew. That day was unbelievable. It changed my life. I now had everything I have ever wished for. I had a great career. I had a great husband. And now I had a great son.

I now had a new challenge. I had a ton of weight to lose, I didn't feel like myself and I was depressed. Also, I didn't have anywhere to work, especially with the weight gain. I knew I always had my real estate to fall back on so I went back to school to get my license and started to sell real estate, which has always been my second love next to wrestling.

I am doing very well with my new career, but I have to admit, I miss the hell out of wrestling. The truth is I want to come back.  And I need your help! I need your support!  I am asking for it and that is why I feel I need to explain myself to you, the fans, because without you I can't come back.

My one obstacle is my weight gain. I am working real hard to lose it. I started to do appearances again and I have started to take Indy bookings again. I felt bad for leaving, but I have come to a place in my heart where I think any mother reading this would relate to the desire I had of wanting to start a family and be a Mom.

         Thanks for reading this. It means a lot to me, and I do hope that with your support I can have my comeback.

Thanks for listening,

Dawn Marie

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Here is the link to Dawn Marie's Official website

- dawnmarieonline.com - The Official Dawn Marie Website