‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

    In the year Two Thousand and Five,

With the state of the game,

   I’m surprised it’s alive.

With only one show in town, the audience has dwindled,

   Feeling insulted and cheated, unappreciated and swindled.

One such example, now made somewhat famous,

   Was Vince’s exploration, of Ol’ JR’s anus.

What the hell was this? Vince off on a lark?

   If I want laughs like these, I’ll turn on South Park.

With the UPN censors, acting all pious,

  Saying Davari and Hassan, depict ethnic bias.

Why not censor something so rude and so crass,

  As a man jamming his arm, up another man’s ass?

Why try to kill, an industry you rule,

   When you’re so rich, with a great talent pool.

So many of your workers, add to our enjoyment,

   Is that why you sent, so many to unemployment?

I guess fan reaction, is part of the game,

   But for gosh sakes, at least let them use their damn name!

Gone Kidman and Morgan, Jindrak and more,

   We’ve got Diva search contestants lined up at the door.

Our Florida competition, have nothing to say.

   We’ll show them the meaning, of the phrase “T&A”

We believe that women’s matches, will steadily bomb,

    Rather appear in an add for “Go Daddy.com”.

For ladies who can wrestle, we’ll just have to mourn,

    The replacement of them with this new kind of porn.

It was also the year when the Reaper was heeded,

   For truly in heaven, there are no gimmicks needed.

Now Chris is gone, I’m still in denial

   The man was complete expertise, done with a smile.

TNA landed, the fed’s position on Spike,

   Although it’s starting to look like ROH light.

Styles, and Daniels, Aries and Joe,

   Playing to the smart marks, all in the know.

The internet knows what is good and what’s trash,

   Guess in what category, falls Kevin Nash.

I’m sorry that recently he fell a bit ill,

    But watching him work would make us all sicker still.

Enter the Rhino; what was in store?

    Who didn’t enjoy Jarrett taking the “gore”?

The year had some good, I seriously felt,

    Would Punk leave ROH holding the championship Belt?

Homicide and Teddy, tore the house down,

    With a level of intensity that always astound.

Batista and Cena both rose to the occasion

    But I have to remind John, that he’s still a Caucasian.

The Legends of the biz have another great run,

    The Rockers reunion was a whole lot of fun.

Matt Striker’s conflict with the NY Board of Ed,

    Gave him the push for a Fed job instead.

But alas, for the man who would “Lie, Cheat and Steal”,

    Why wait ‘til he’s gone to say how we feel?

The only solution he found for the pain,

    Was to get in the ring, and just entertain.

Thank you, Eddie from the bottom of my heart.

    It’s your family and friends that have the hard part.

As you enter the ropes, or work from in back,

    We want you all to remain somewhat intact.

Wishing you safety and happiness throughout the whole year.

     In the hearts of the fan, you each have no peer.

Healthy and Safe, is how I hope you all stay,