WWE sinks to new low points (again)

The Galveston County Daily News

Last week, I pounded home my belief that making “Stone Cold” Steve Austin’s return match against an announcer was about the stupidest thing WWE could have done.

In true WWE fashion, the company proved me wrong — the brain trust was capable of far greater stupidity than that.

Austin, the biggest money draw in the history of the company (whether it was the WWWF, WWF, or WWE), had his last match at Wrestlemania XIX, in 2003. His return to the ring, potentially one of the biggest wrestling happenings of the year, was thoroughly botched, as his match at Tuesday’s “Taboo Tuesday” event was against Jonathan Coachman.

Yes, the all-time top star was to battle announcer Coachman for Jim Ross’ job. In the TV storyline, Ross was humiliated and fired in a bit that re-established the evil McMahon family as the top heels (bad guys) on TV, because we haven’t seen that scenario nearly enough.

Behind the scenes, WWE really did send Ross packing (he remains under contract for another year, so he’ll collect checks at home, unless fans demand his return and he agrees to return). WWE tried to get Ultimate Fighting Championship announcer Mike Goldberg to take the “Raw” program’s reins, in an attempt to inject youth into the announcing booth.

So what could be stupider than Austin versus an announcer? How about the announcer beating Austin?

That was the plan, and shortly after Austin learned of the planned finish, he “hurt his back,” rendering him “unable” to perform.

Even World Championship Wrestling, in the months of epic ineptness that were its final two years, never did anything this stupid. Austin was not only the company’s all-time top star, he was also a guy with a history of telling WWE to stuff it when presented with stupid ideas. Even worse, he was the only guy on the “Taboo” show who didn’t have to do his match. Austin is under a WWE Films contract, to appear in movies produced by the company. He doesn’t have to wrestle a single match.

WWE booked and promoted the match before making sure the finish was acceptable to the planned loser. Since that was Austin, with all the baggage noted above, this plan might be stupidity of an unprecedented level.

If you watched “Taboo Tuesday,” you know that Batista took Austin’s place, and that former ECW announcer Joey Styles called the action. Styles is scheduled to announce “Raw” this week, and he has proven that he is a tremendous commentator. However, he is also a successful enough individual that he does not need to put up with the amount of garbage and humiliation that WWE seems to relish dumping on its employees. If he does become the new voice of “Raw,” we could be in for more tumultuous times.

But Austin was not the end of it. A week ago, Christian turned down a contract-renewal offer from WWE and is gone. The insanely talented performer has been grossly underutilized for years, and I look forward to seeing him in an environment that might actually use his numerous assets.

For some odd reason, that makes me think of Total Nonstop Action, the upstart wrestling company whose momentum has never seemed more positive. The guys who brought you the six-sided ring scored again on Thursday, with their first primetime special on Spike TV. If you missed it, you missed another solid show from the company that has seemed unable this year to produce anything but home runs in terms of show quality. But don’t despair — the special will air again Monday night, after the replay of the “Ultimate Fighter” finals.

And next week, we’ll preview TNA’s Nov. 13 pay-per-view “Genesis.”

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Scott E. Williams is a Daily News reporter and a longtime wrestling fan. His first book “Terry Funk: More Than Just Hardcore,” co-authored by Funk himself, is available in bookstores now. His e-mail address is [email protected].